This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
There was a lot of him and a little penis
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
