Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize