fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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