Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
