if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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