An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
