just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
