I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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