no, he came in my armpit
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
