Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
