I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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