she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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