life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize