He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
