She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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