i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
