sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
