I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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