Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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