i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
