We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
