get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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