I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
