Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
