Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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