Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
