NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
