Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
