I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I am in a vortex of obligation.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
