I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
