I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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