Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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