She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize