so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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