she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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