it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Drake has all the answers
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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