Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We left an ass print on the piano.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Randomize
