Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
