Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
