what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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