Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
