I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
