Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm too high and old for this...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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