this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
