You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm gonna fight the coyote
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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