I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
