That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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