I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize