Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
how does that bad decision feel?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
