Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
