Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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