hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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