normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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