...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ok first of all what the fuck
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
