okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm sobbing to NWA
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
