Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
