If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
