Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
