I want to make a zoo with you.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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