Pappa wants mamma naked
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
