I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
