Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize